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easy.wav - "Everybody, take it easy!"

hanksing.wav - {singing} "She works hard for the money, eee eee eee eee, so hard for the money, eee eee eee eee, I work hard for the money, so ju better treat me right!  ah, that's right!"

shoes.wav - "Ah, but there's no point in my putting shoes on sir.  I never wear shoes, because, they make me fall down."

soup.wav - Armand: "What the hell are you serving us?"  Agador: "Sweet and sour peasant soup.. what you say it's seafood chowder for?"  Armand: "What the hell is sweet and sour peasant soup?!"  Agador: "I don't know!  I made it up, I made it up!!"

bird1.wav- Armand: What the hell are pirin tablets?!? Agador: It's aspirin with the A and the S scraped off. Armand: My God that's a brilliant idea. Agador: I know

bird10.wav- Armand: Are we crucifying someone tonight? Agador: Do you like it? I traded that stupid moosehead for it. And look, they threw in books. It all goes back tomorrow.

bird11.wav - "I have so much to do now."

bird12.wav - Agador: Armand, why don't you let me be in the show? C'mon, are ju afraid of my Guatamalanous? Armand: Your what? Agador: MY Guatamalanous.. my natural heat. You're afraid I'm too primitive, right, too be on the stage with your little Estrogen rockettes, right?  Armand: You're right, I'm afraid of your heat.

bird14.wav - "I know honey, it's gonna pass"

bird15.wav - Albert: Agador, I need some Pirin tablets, quickly. Armand: What are you taking? Albert: Nothing. Agador: But just one, okay? One before the show, and one for after, no more. So, don't ask me. Albert: Thank you, thank you my darling Agador. Agador: Okay. I'm gonna put this here for ju.

bird16.wav - Agador: Senator.... another shot for ju? Senator: I don't really drink. Agador: Jeah, but, now's the time to pretend.

bird17.wav - Armand: Right now they're out there looking at the bowls. What kind of moron set the table without looking at the bowls?? Agador: Wait wait, there's shrimps!

bird18.wav - Val: What, you, you mean we just have soup? Agador: Peasant soup IS an entree, it's like a stew, why do you think I put so much in it for?!

bird19.wav - Agador: Can I somebody some soup? All: NO!

bird2.wav - Agador: Good morning. Armand: What is this sludge? Agador: Jes, it's sludge, I thought it make a nice change from coffee.

bird20.wav - "Honey, please? Ju got to get dressed for me now, please? Ok, how about just your stockings, ok? Ok, but watch how nice I'm going to put it for ju."

bird21.wav - (doorbell rings) Agador: No, no no, Ju are in the wrong house! (opens door, Val's mother is there) Good evening, ah, may I take your purse as usual... or, for the first time?"

bird22.wav - Albert: Poor, devoted Agador. I'm leaving you my stereo... Agador: No! Albert: red boots... Agador: I don't want it! Albert: ...and my wigs. Agador: Which wigs?

bird3.wav - "Good evening, I am Sparticus. The Goldman's butler. Please, come in."

bird4.wav - Val: You can cook, right? Agador: Your father seems to think so...

bird5.wav - "Don't ask, don't tell"

bird6.wav - Hank sings again!

bird7.wav - Agador: Dinner is gonna be late, ok.. but ju give me so little time to shop... Armand: The girl is nice.. I owe it to Val.. growing up the way he did, couldn't have been easy. Agador: I'm so sorry to laugh at Ms. Albert.. but what is that hair-do?

bird8.wav - (Agador comes out, sees Albert, and laughs) Armand: Thank you Agador Sparticus, you may go. Albert: He's very nice, but he's such a problem.. we never know what makes him laugh.

bird9.wav - Agador: Nooo.. I'm gonna look like a fag! Aramand: Maybe, but you'll look like a fag in a uniform.

bird23.wav - Armand: Open the door!!  Agador: I'm trying, but he's so crazy!

lucyrick.wav - Armand: (walks in on Agador dancing to Gloria Estafan in Albert's wig) Excuse me? Agador: Hello. Oh, hello. What did you think? Armand: I think you look like Lucy's stunt double. Agador: No, I'm a combonation of Lucy and Ricky. Armand: And it's terrifying.

beast.wav - "You are such a beast to everybody.  Eh.  Come on Gloria."

cemetary.wav - Agador: What did you do to him, he go to a cemetary?? Armand: AGADOR! Pull yourself together! Agador: Why?!

dio.wav - "Adieu!"

grencard.wav - Agador: What is that? Why do you talk to me like I'm your servant? Armand: Because you're our faithful houseman, now go! Agador: Yeah, but, my father was the shaman of his tribe, okay? My mother was the high preistess, okay? Armand: Then why the hell did they move to New Jersey? Agador: I dunno, they're so stupid. Cause they want me to have a career. Hellooo! A career! When are ju gonna let me audition for ju again? Armand: When you get talent. Now take that wig off or I'll tell Albert you're wearing it. Agador: Ju do that I'm going to tell him that ju are seeing someelse else when he's on the stage! Armand: I have two words for you: Green Card.